Saturday, September 1, 2012

Controlling Chaos- Moving and other lapsing moments of sanity

Hello my lovelies...
   I haven't posted anything recently due to the fact that we have recently moved into our new home. While being first time home owners is horribly exciting and wonderful. It also is truly sucks and is terrifying beyond all belief. Essentially we had lots and lots of volunteers to help us move, however we picked the shittiest weekend to move due to the fact that it RAINED, everyone else was either sick with the Exorcist like plague 4 out of the 5 of us had the week before, or their in-laws were moving or they were on vacation. Go figure. Leave it to us to plan to move on a weekend like this.
    Now the week before my poor hubby took a week of half days from work and painted like a madman in order to get rid of the "soul sucking" brown paint that the previous owners decided to paint EVERYTHING (with the exception of the kitchen which is a hideous shade of cheap dog food red vomit). We let the boys pick the color of their rooms, our oldest loves the color yellow and his younger brother wanted his room just like his brother's. Then the living room and the hallways had to be painted, our daughter's bedroom, our room ( no self respecting goth can have a soul sucking brown bedroom..while "soul sucking" sounds sinister and cool, it just looks horribly tacky and like someone painted dog poo on the walls) and the study/guest bedroom. We decided that we would have to do the rest of the painting after we unpacked everything (HA! Like that is ever going to happen. ). Needless to say,we did have two people help us, my dad and Kevin (Mike's friend from work). I have to give kick ass kudos to Kevin for coming to help us in the morning and afternoon and then going to help his in-laws move into their house later that evening.
     While they unloaded the truck, which was later involved in a fender bender (a surprise moving expense--there were a couple), I was stuck entertaining three children and trying to pack the rest of our items at our former house. Packing with three kids awake and running around is the equivalent of trying to do liposuction on yourself with a vacuum cleaner. Initially it sounds like a good idea, however right after you start you realized that this is much more trouble than it is worth and someone may end up going to the emergency room. So, needless to say I hardly got any progress done on the smaller items with my children fighting for helping rights with the tape gun or throwing random stuff in boxes to "pack with mommy".
   Now as if moving, getting utilities turned on and renting a U Haul wasn't enough money quickly disappearing out of our bank account, Mike got into a small fender bender in the rental truck. Apparently he stopped a little too far over the white line while slowing to a stop at a red light. He checked both mirrors and no one was there so he decided to back up a little bit. Yes, he shouldn't have backed up. But if you were in a little car would you pull up on the butt of a GIANT 24 foot rental truck? And once you saw the truck was starting to back up wouldn't you honk to let them know you were there before it hit your car? Well not if you are on your cell phone (I hate people driving and talking on their cell drives me nuts and texting? Don't get me started. But ANYWAYS....) For my husband's poor lack of judgement and this woman tale gating the truck so close he couldn't see her we now have to pay for a $166 dollar ticket my husband acquired for backing up "improperly" into a woman who was right up on a HUGE U-Haul trucks ass. GREAT.
   But of course, shit always happens to us in threes. Our last stroke of luck was the fact that our fridge died and refused to cool.It was running and the lights turned on but there was no cool air coming from anywhere. Thankfully when I called Sears I opted for the more expensive repair package which gave us a 500 dollar voucher in case our fridge was dead. So after living out of a cooler and eating fast food (which is horribly disgusting  for three days we went to Sears to pick out a new fridge. Now Mike  researches EVERYTHING. He obsesses. I just want it to save energy and keep my food cold and my frozen stuff frozen. So, he had all ready picked out two he wanted to get from the reviews. We loaded up our horde and drove to Sears to look at refrigerators.Our three children apparently had lost their minds in the move and decided to act like wild hooligans in the store while we looked at appliances. After contemplating selling our children to gypsies and then realizing they wouldn't take them, we picked out a fridge which was the cheaper of the two and that would fit into our "fridge cubby" (where the tinest shelves are located on top of the fridge area which you can never get to comfortably even with a chair--seriously what the hell do you put up there except for things you rarely ever use?). Sears, of course, came in scratched the new paint on the wall while taking out the old fridge. Thankfully we have paint for touch ups.We placed all of our food in it and all was wonderful, until Mike attempted to get ice and water. He hates the levers on the water and ice dispenser and dislikes the layout of the fridge's lack of shelves. So, in order to have some sort of sanity and to prevent me from braining my honey with a cast iron skillet five years down the road while he is still bitching about the fridge lack of shelves he is researching for a replacement. He has less that 30 days to find a replacement (the return policy) or he is stuck with it. He is still trying to get my convinced that a refrigerator only unit and a deep freeze is the way to go. But I refuse to give up my new ice maker and filtered water feature and I refuse to by more appliances to have them. So he is still searching. Well my younger ones are waking up from their naps so until next time my dears...

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